I have decided to start having an affair with my Iphone.
Techniality (technology+beastiality=techniality), not to be confused with technically which is what autocorrect believes I meant and though I usually defer to the almighty power that is autocorrect, what I am attempting to do is called tech-ni-ality. No “c”.
Even though I may seem to be gloating my new found flame, I am not proud of the fact that, only purchased a couple of days ago, I have replaced all emotional feelings I had for my Boyfriend with an obsessive, unnatural need to be with my Iphone at all times.
You snooze you lose, Boyfriend. You live 1600 miles away? You’re going to lose my love to something that lives in my pocket, purse, and occasionally my bra. You can’t win. You simply can’t.
I used to bemoan the people that would be on their Iphone nonstop. If they weren’t on it, they were holding it. If they weren’t holding it, they were talking about it. If they weren’t talking about it, they were having dreams about it climbing a high tower to rescue it from the evil dragon that had no data plan or Apps.
(I seriously just checked my Iphone in the middle of writing this blog without even noticing.)
But NOW! Now the world is at my finger tips. Fingers that are finding the perfect balance between a swipe touch and a texting touch; learning the insider tricks to conserve battery and the expert way how to play Angry Birds; how to search for that perfect App that you didn’t know you could live without 15 minutes prior and how to be snooty to your non-smart-phone-having friends.
The night I bought it, I will always remember how I didn’t have a case for it yet so I took off one of my gloves in 20 degree weather, slipped it inside the cottony blackness, and put it in my pocket so it wouldn’t get dirty. Oh the memories!!!
I sleep with it, I bathe with it, I eat with it. It’s my constant companion.
(I just checked it again).
It’s me and my Iphone for all eternity. I love it.
As Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” starts to play softly in the background, while you see a ragged picture of Iphone and me swinging on the old porch swing at our old ranch in Newt county and there is a audible sigh from the audience as we fade to black.
AAAwwwwww
I know, sugar dumplings, I know.
It’s a love story for the ages, Iphone and I. For the ages…
I have to admit I am pretty jealous of your love affair.
ReplyDeleteI don't love my blackberry in the same way. I feel like my blackberry is that one relative you have that you know you would hate if they weren't family.